I think I much preferred Christina when she was a plain-old genie in a bottle. That finger right there looks like it’s about to fulfil its God-given right and morph into the pigtail it was born to be.
Meanwhile, piggy finger’s ribbing the poor little doggie who feels it has no option but to leave a little brown surprise in Christina’s other hand in its desperate plea for help.
2- Got Milk?
1st possibility: Drink lots of milk and you too will not only have a hard body like mine plus a free swimsuit to boot, but your eyes will clear up so much that you actually get to see the ghost that’s been following me around for the past couple of years. Admittedly, it’s a shy ghost as all you can see is its 3 digits, but it’s a ghost nonetheless dammit.
2nd possibility: the mannequin-looking athlete in the middle won 2 gold medals in the ‘Stretchy Arms’ sports category.
3rd possibility: the designer’s an incompetent fool.
3- Beyonce, the Trapeze Artist…
Erm, Beyonce, babes, you’re drop-dead gorgeous and all and I’m sure you’re mad mad flexible (yoga seems to have nothing on you, sistah) – but come on now, there’s showing how supple you are and there’s showing off …and this is just downright uncalled-for showing off.
There’s a time and a place for that (like if you’re trying to get rid of the paparazzi), but this photo shoot ain’t it. Remember, you’re trying to SELL the perfume.
4- Boo Yaa…
Women have always smugly felt that they have the monopoly on multitasking. Well, men can be pretty good multi-taskers too when they set their minds to it.
And here’s a picture to prove it.
Do you know of any women out there who can throw down a mean slam dunk and decapitate their fellow team member at the same time?
I didn’t think so.
Hmmm…looks like some FHM staff need to pop into their local Specsavers, perhaps.
Ok, arguably, the model was, erm, somewhat of a ‘hot babe’ – but I kind of drew the line when her belly button ate her finger.
Hurrah to her for putting on a brave face, gritting her teeth (as you can evidently see) and finishing the rest of the shoot.
What a woman.
6- A Maze of Legs…
Yes. The FHM model’s bellybutton is at it again. One of Leah Wood’s legs is gone (and half of Peaches Geldof’s brain. The jury’s still out on Kimberly.)
On a serious’ish note, this photo shoot probably got way too ambitious for the poor designer’s IQ. Probably tried his/her bestest best, then sent the boat out, crossed fingers and hoped that amongst the maze of legs and nudity, no-one would notice.
Couldn’t have picked a better mag.
7-I Came, I Jaw…
What happens when you try to cut corners in these crazy credit-crunching times by paying 99 cents for a teeth-whitening job at the shabby dentist’s place that just opened round the corner?
Her friend doesn’t quite know what to say to her, so she just smiles and says ‘Uh huh’. While her other friend’s pouting self-assuredly into the camera, ‘Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the prettiest one of them all’.
8- Who’s That Girl…
Our Material Girl has tried many looks in her time and I admire her for it. She definitely doesn’t need to come back in a next lifetime as she’s just about tried every look in the book…
…apart from this one.
This is what she looks like when she takes off all her makeup.
Guy Ritchie. You missed out. Big time.